ways the bible will literally drive you insane

1. You will believe in imaginary beings.And I don’t just mean one all powerful, all loving father figure in the sky who never does anything or helps anyone. You’ll believe in an evil tyrant who lives in a lake of fire and plots against you all day for no reason.

Prayer only accomplishes one thing.The Bible teaches that if you believe in Yahweh with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind then you’ll have the power to move mountains and be immune to poison. Basically you’ll have magical powers.

It teaches you to feel guilty about the wrong things.Humans are sexual creatures. In a sense, having sex is the most important thing you’ll ever do because it ensures the survival and evolution of the species. That’s why sex feels so good. Our bodies are designed that way, and if God designed us then God designed us that way. Sex is a biological commandment. Yet the Bible basically tells us that sex is evil and we should feel ashamed for wanting to have sex…much less having it with anyone except the one person we marry a

6. It teaches you not to accept responsibility for your actions.The Bible teaches that if you believe it then you’ll get to go to Heaven. In theological circles there’s some debate about whether or not good works are needed in addition to faith, but children don’t understand the Bible well enough or have the critical thinking skills to raise or explore that deep of a theological question. So as far as they (and most adults) are likely to be concerned, once you believe the story in the Bible you get to go Heaven.

7. It teaches you that your self-worth is based on believing in a story.The determining factor between what makes someone deserve to burn for eternity and what makes someone deserve paradise for eternity is believing in a story. Believing in a story doesn’t have anything to do with anything

7. 8. It teaches that everyone else is bad.The teachings in the Bible continue to rob you of an accurate perception of reality because it teaches that everyone who isn’t a Christian is a bad person…sobad in fact that they deserve to be tortured for all of eternity. Moreover, all the evil non-Christians asked for it; they chose to be separated from the light and embrace darkness and evil.

9. It teaches you that you’re a good person.The Bible teaches that if you take part in Christianity’s indoctrination rituals they will transform you into a higher form of life who deserves eternal peace and joy. The message of eternal salvation contradicts the Bible’s teachings on original sin, because even after you’re saved you’re still a sinner until you die.

10. The Bible teaches you that you’re a bad person.The Bible teaches you that we’re all sinners who deserve to burn in hell, and even our righteousness is like filthy rags to God. Why are we bad people? Because Adam’s rib-clone ate a magic apple given to her by a talking snake in the Garden of Evil.

Wise sloth

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Ways Not To Define Your Self-Worth

Ways Not To Define Your Self-Worth

By how much smarter/dumber you are than everyone else
By the size of your bank account
By how much power you have over other people
By how much power other people have over you
By your beauty or lack thereof
By your rank or lack thereof
By your age or lack thereof
By your success/failure rate
By how much you’re mistreated
By what your parents think of you
By what ancient mythology says you’re worth

ways we politelt say breast

*Clears thoat*
1.Breast
2.Boobs
3.Tits
4.Globes
5.Melons
6.Buds
7.Balloons
8.What yo mamma gave you
9Mountains
10.Play Stations
11.Cups
12.Pillows

Reasons Why You Should Be Proud of Your Small Boobs

Reasons Why You Should Be Proud of Your Small Boobs

1.Bring on the strapless bras.Yup, you can actually wear those without a problem.

2.Heck, go braless if you want.

No sagging!Gravity doesn’t affect everyone the same way.

4.Along the same lines, no stretch marks!WIN.

5.“Ouch, my back!”Never will you have to utter those words… because of your breasts anyway. Who knows what will happen when you’re an old lady?

6.Posture perfect.Studies prove that people with smaller chests have better posture than those with larger ones.

7.There’s no need to hold your boobs when exercising.Let those puppies be free!

8.Working out, in general, is pain free in that particular region.As hot asKate Uptonis, this looks like it hurts:

9.You only need one, count ‘em, ONE sports bra.Unlike the well-endowed women who are sometimes forced to double up.

11.Button-down shirts aren’t constraining.They can be worn with ease.

12.Actually, you could pretty much get away with any top.It’s not like it can be deemed inappropriate for baring too much cleavage.

13.You know others are interested in you for your mind.And not your body.

Wow, your sister is way finer than you [Meaning behind words #1]

What if your fiancee says this repeatedly to you about younger sister?would you suspect anything?

. Things in the Bible that Christians don’t believe

. Things in the Bible that Christians don’t believe

God is a genocidal,
Children are property and should be beaten.
Women are property and should be silent and sold into slavery.
Adulterers should be stoned to death.
Slavery is ordained and facilitated by God.
All the other silly rules in the Old Testament.
The creation story.
The Ten Commandments.
The importance of family lineage.
That faith will protect you.
The infallibility of the Bible.
That the creator of the universe lived in a temple and demanded blood sacrifices.

bonanza ; catch a madman ,get #20,000 free

Did you know according to the city hall by laws, if you catch a madman and take him to one of the mental hospitals a remuneration of ksh 500 is given for your troubles? Yes it’s true

just imagine if such laws were to be passed in nigeria
“catch a madman ,take him to nearest psychiatric home and get #20,000.
Perharps, i would be a millionaire by now.

Just think of how much money you would make by just venturing into this business. The only challenge is how to catch a madman unless you use a banana to lure them. And as you all know, a madman thinks he is sane, surrounded by madmen (us). Just come to think of it, if you were to be taken to a mentally challenged institution how would you feel and fair

I have around 600 friends on facebook and I have a good number which can qualify to be my clients if I were to venture into the business of catching all the crazy people in the community.

I have this idea of opening an agency to recruit ‘madmen’. The idea is to recruit as many as I can and take them to one of the many mental hospitals around. The share will be 50/50. Oh sorry 70/30 because I will have to pay a cab to take you there and a banana to lure some of you.

Today I want you to look around your office, class, church and the streets. Count how many people are behaving weirdly,indifferent or utterly insane. . Think of how much money you would make if you were to catch just a few of them.
Next time when you see a madman walking away from you, that is money walking.

Catch a madman near you.
Remember:
A man who is “of sound mind” is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key.

Remember:
A man who is “of sound mind” is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key.

in defence of Maheeda the prostitute gospel singer

When i saw the caption of the prostitute turned gospel artist, i was about condeming her like thousands of us did. But i took time and read the news in full, this time,i became less judgemental.
Instead of blaming her,i blamed the society.

First,she was orphaned-
no help came her way. Where are those who enrich their pastors in the name of tithe. If you had diverted such funds into aiding orphans like this, she wouldnt have turned a prostitute. Since the society couldnt help her,she had to help herself

we should blame the men who had the mind to sleep with a teenage girl young enough to be their daughter.why didnt they adopt her as their daughter. They sleep with her privately and condem her publicly.

She had sex at young age to feed, most of us have food,shelter, etc,yet we still have sex before marriage.
Whether you have a boyfriend or not,anyone who has sex with two or more persons without being married is a prostitute.

She mistakenly got pregnant.if she had aborted it,the society will yell at her. She chose to keep it, still we condemn her.

She kept the baby.not one of us deemed it neccessary to help the child. We let her carry her cross alone.

It only took a good hearted foreigner to assist her while we criticised her.the oyibo man married her despite her waywordness.
Here is someone we call sinner getting married. How many of we self proclaimed righteous girls are married.?
“Born againsss”Desperately jumping from church to church in search of husband yet a fornicator got married to a rich foreigner while prostituting. Isnt that a lesson for us.

Is she a gospel singer,?that is left for her and her God.you are not her God so dont judge her.
We all know that a rehabillitated addicted smoker will still have the uurge to light a stick. Sometimes he may succomb,othertimes he may not

THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH HER IS THAT SHE IS BOLD ,HONEST AND OPEN RATHER THAN BEING HYPOCRITE LIKE MOST OF US.
She supports prostitution …well i also support fornication. If we have spent millions trying to curb it ,yet we practice it, why dont we legalise it and tax it to support goverment revenue.

prostitution shhould be taxed and legalised

We continue to play the morality card once prostitution is mentioned, yet the trade is much alive and flourishing. As much as we may want to back bench it in our minds and pussyfoot it’s here to stay and the players/traders can’t & mustn’t be categorized in the minimum wage earners bracket. Some of them earn more than 20 thousand naira a night. How many of you earn such an amount in a month? In the upmarket, brothels are sprouting on daily basis,

The trade is expanding at an alarming rate with new young girls and boys being recruited as the old ones pack their goodies and go home. With unemployment having been on the rise for a while now and the government doing nothing to remedy the situation; college and universities graduates are being sucked in this muck. Young college girls and boys barely out of their teens aren’t spared either. A page is on Facebook with over 50,000 likes advertising young divas/ girls who are ready to sell their bodies to rich men. I don’t blame, with the way thing are, you complete your bachelor’s degree earning a first class honor in your major only to’ job seek’ for eternity and eventually rotting away or maybe some lucky ones secure jobs where the going starting rate is 30,000 monthly.

The more we resist the idea of prostitution (‘Enjoy as you earn) being legalized the more it’s expanding and the clientele list is running to infinity. It’s arguably spot-on to say that we are the people who encourage it.

The people who condemn prostitution vehemently are the same people who slither their way to get some.

Tax in any given country is remitted from every income earned. And it’s unjust to burdensome earners leaving others enjoying a tax free income because their trade is labeled illegal. It’s high time the commercial sex earners start declaring their income and filing tax returns. Needful to say they access the amenities we strain so hard to pay for; the street they stand on at night , the street light post they lean on ,the eco toilets, the police man keeping them safe etcetera, are all there because we paid for them. They should pay tax and in upshot to that; for any commercial sex worker to pay tax; she/he must come out and register with KRA stating his/her occupation. In the long run friends, families and the society at large will come to know what they do for a living and who would want that? I agree there are some dare devils who wouldn’t mind but I bet a big number of them will shy away from the streets and the prostitution trade may die a natural death

If you can’t curb it, legalize it and tax it.

davido latest song on buhari

“Aye”
Le le le
Le le le le le le le
A le le
A le le o le
[Chorus:]
Aa yeee
(Oya shekele)
Aaa yeee
Cause you want my blood o

we no want general
She no want buhari
we say na jona oooooo
he belong to meee
And I belong to him o
buhari
You go killie somebody
They say u have changed
but I dey see blood for your eyes o
Aa for your eyes o

im trouble pass mourinho
She dey vex like marado
mario balo

he like e my blood
he like e my blood
Her favorite killer na spartacus o
spartacus o

And hes to old to see
too old to see I see
buhari just show me ur wassce
Come show me ur wassce
Aaa
Cause nobody imprisons like u do
Nobody can kill e like u do
Nobody can vex e like u do
Nobody can kill e like u do

chorus

[Verse 2:]
The baddest!
Buhari you the baddest
u dey hide ur your asset
sabi bite like suarez
Emergency!

Chorus