if you love him, you must quarel with him
You don’t know him or her until there is a quarrel. A quarrel tests character. Knowledge grows from disagreement. Love is a deeper knowledge of your partner. It is not just the romantic feeling, it is the feeling of tolerance, the feeling of acceptance and understanding.
A quarrel reveals weakness. It displays maturity.
A quarrel creates a platform for t
he woman to submit and the man to show love.
Don’t run away from confrontation. A confrontation will give you revelation. To walk away or to continue becomes clearer. Too much quarrel that ends with physical abuse is a danger sign. It is saying , ‘Quit!’
A quarrel creates room for patience. And patience is a virtue that can sustain a relationship. Any relationship.
An engaged couple came for counseling. They were preparing for marriage. The Pastor asked, “How are things going?”
“Great”, they said enthusiastically.
“Really?” the pastor asked.
“Yes”, the couple chorused.
“Have you had any quarrel? Any disagreement?”
The woman responded, “No o. It has been wonderful all the way”. And both stared at each other with a smile.
The pastor nodded his head. “No ,that is not good at all. I can’t wed you both”
“Why?” the lady asked.
“Go and have a quarrel. Disagree on something. Hurt yourself and see how much you can forgive yourselves. See how you can disagree to agree. Your courtship is too good to be true”.
The fight is important. It test your compatibility. But you must fight fair. I am not talking about throwing insults at each other or physical assault. I am talking about disagreements.
Marriage is not for two perfect people. It is for two imperfect people who seek to make their marriage perfect. They work hard to make sure that they are together. They have a deep understanding for each other because they realize that they are both fragile, human. And so they look up to God